Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Expectation brings frustrations

Got this from Shahrose via my email and thought of sharing it with all of you. Thank you Rose...

If you expect too much, you will be frustrated. If you don't want to be frustrated, don't expect. Live without expectations and there will be no frustration.

But people go on expecting; then frustration comes in - frustration is the shadow of expectation. When you feel frustrated you think that existence is doing something wrong to you. Any asking is asking too much. Don't ask, be. And then you will be surprised - whatsoever happens is good; you have no way to judge it.

I used to stay with a rich family in Calcutta. Once i went; the family had come to take me from the airport. The husband was very sad. I enquired, "What is the matter?" He said, "There has been a great loss." Listening to this, his wife started laughing. She said, "Don't bother about what he says. There has been no loss - in fact, there has been a great profit."

I was puzzled. I said,"You both are here. Please try to explain this riddle to me." The wise said,"There is no riddle. He was expecting ten lakh rupees and he got only five lakh rupees. So he says, 'Five lakh rupees' loss,' and I say,'You have profited' - but he won't listen, and he is very sad."

When you expect ten lakh rupees and you get five lakh you feel frusterated. If you are not expecting and you get five lakh rupees your are full of joy,
thankfulness gratitude

Don't expect, and you see your whole life becomes a joy. Expect, and your whole life becomes a hell. Expectation is the cause. If you want to change, never start by the effect, start by the cause. Frustration is the effect. You can go on fighting with frustration - nothing will happen, you will become more and more frusterated. Whenever you are feeling miserable, go into it and find out where the cause is. If you want to drop the effect then avoid the cause, then become aware, more and more aware.

There are many people who enjoy frustration. There are many people who enjoy being miserable. In fact, they cannot tolerate happiness at all. When they are miserable they are happy, when they are happy they feel very miserable. Whenever you are miserable you gain something : sympathy, attention. Whenever you are happy nobody shows any sympathy - in fact, people become jealous. When you are unhappy everybody is a friend, everybody sympathises with you - even your enemy will sympathise with you. When you are happy even your friend will become jealous and inimical.

When you are happy nobody pays any attention to you. People avoid you. In fact, they start thinking you must be mad : Happy? Who has ever heard of anybody being happy! When you are unhappy they accept you. Then they think everything is okay, because this is how things have to be. And people enjoy your unhappiness, that's why they pay attention - because whenever you are unhappy they can compare themselves, and deep down they can feel good.

You love frustration? Then go into it. Become more artistic about it, decorate it a little more; make new possibilities, new doors to become more frusterated. If you don't enjoy it, then I don't see the problem. Just go deep into it, watch, and you will find some expectation hidden behind. Whenever you expect, you are asking for frustration. Drop expectations.



izahdaut said...

moral of the story..bersyukur lah... belajar bersyukur akan mensederhanakan hidup. saya pun kalau letak expectation slalu berakhir dengan frustration. tu saya tersenyum baca entry ni..hehe

expect sikit2 je boleh, frust pun sikit je.hehe..mcm mengajar anak, jangan expect to much tapi keep teaching them..then 1 day sesuatu keluar dari mind dia apa yg kite ajar dan kita pun waahh surprise nyee..

betul ke ma?

kakchik@ella said...

correct n agree with your Mama Fami. dulu kc penah buat n3 - Too much expectation will lead to frustration.